Shinji of Gaul
by Brian Boru
Summary: Another Shinji spine. But I like it. Shinji is chosen by the old Celtic Gods to be raised among the Gauls of the Ancient Days, HE is then sent back at the age of sixteen to pilot the Evangelion. Tokyo-3, Nerv, and Asuka won't Know what hit 'em.
1. Chapter 1

**Shinji of Gaul**

I OWN NOTHING!

**Ch. 1**

Little Shinji Ikari was crying his eyes out near the beach. His mama was gone and his papa didn't want him anymore. As he sat there sobbing, a strange glow suddenly appeared around him and he vanished.

The next thing he knew he was floating in a vast white void but around him he could hear voices talking about him. "So this is the one to save this world? Not much if you ask me?"

That stung for the little boy it seemed that no one wanted him and he was unimportant even if they didn't know him. But what was it the voice was talking about 'save the world'?

"Now Tuetautus, you know better than that. This boy has incredible potential he just needs the right environment to grow up in then send him back and watch him corncob the bastards who want to end the world." Shinji blinked at that. Right environment?

"Mister, what's going on? What are you talking about?"

The second voice chuckled, then grew into a huge belly laugh. "Lad, you are to be a great hero for you world. However, you'll never be one, if you grow up where you are now. We'll take you somewhere else to live and become strong."

"Wait I'm going to be a hero? Cool!" Shinji said, forgetting his fears.

As Shinji was in awe of what the second voice had said, the first spoke up again, "I Teutautus, god of thunder and god of war will be your patron, as all warriors are. When you are sixteen years of age you will go home to fulfill your destiny." There was another flash of light and little Shinji was gone.

Tokyo-3

The city was in shambles, the Angel Sachiel was tearing the city apart, the tanks and airplanes sent at the colossal beast succeeded only in irritating the brute.

At a train station sat a young man, but what a man! Standing at a fraction under six feet, he towered over the average Japanese. He was also heavily muscled and wore his brown hair shoulder blade long. Across his arms and chest up to under his chin were spiraling tattoos of a rich blue color. Across his lip was a scraggily moustache that promised to grow out in less than a year. His clothing was odd as well, a pair of plaid trousers of light blue and green, and a cloak of the same color across his shoulder which was pinned by a silver broach. His shirt was a light brown and was completely sleeveless which showed off the tree trunk arms and broad shoulders as well as the tattoos. He had a small pack over his shoulder and was looking at a photograph of a woman with purple hair and quite a nice figure. "Sweet Daghda! I wouldnae moind t'see what was oonder tha' outfit! Makes up for th' bastard haulin me ass oot heare, almost." He exclaimed in a guttural accent.

A month ago he had been returned back to his aunt and uncle's home. Their memories had been tampered with and they had been made to think that they had sent him away again to an acquaintance of theirs. A week before today his father had sent one word to his home of three weeks. 'COME.' Shinji had stared at the message for over a minute before voicing his opinions. Animals started running away and the bark of trees literally started to peel. One old woman three miles away had a heart attack.

As he warily looked around at the strange yet vaguely remembered surroundings he swore he saw a blue haired girl near the station. His eyes made contact with her's and a strange feeling went through him as if he was at the tribal Samhain ceremonies in the sacred grove back home.

As he was about to talk to the girl, there was a flock of doves that flew past that distracted him and when he turned back the girl was gone. He looked around for the girl and couldn't find her. He dismissed the encounter as the side effect of that damned Sooshee he had been eating. He would kill for a cut of pork or beef or maybe some venison, "_Oh wonderful venison, roasted for hours, slathered with honey and herbs._" While Shinji was in his food porn fantasy he failed to notice until they were right over him a pair of fighter planes that roared over his head. He ducked involuntarily, shrieking curses that would make a trucker blush.

A moment later a car screeched to a halt next to him. Inside was the woman from the photo, Misato Katsuragi. She looked at him in slight confusion, then said "Are you Shinji Ikari?"

"Aye." Shinji answered.

"Then hurry up and get in!" She shouted.

Shinji grudgingly got into the hunk of metal and screamed when she tore off through Tokyo-3. "Dammit woman, are ye tryin' t'get us killed?!!!"

Misato snapped back, "Well sorry, but were kind of in a hurry!" She took a moment to look over the kid and was still surprised at what she saw. He looked nothing like the commander and was completely different from what she had expected. He looked like some sort of barbarian but what kind she had no idea.

"So what's with the getup?" She asked.

He looked at her funny and replied, "What are ye talking aboot? Back hoome, evarywone dresses loike this." Misato stared at him. He saw this and replied, "Whare ah groo up. Ah onle came bach t'Japan a moonth ehgo." When she asked where he had been he clammed up and wouldn't answer her. Before she tried asking again there was a huge boom and Shinji stared out the window in shock and shouted, "what by Daghda's balls is tha'?"

"That is what your father is fighting." Misato answered.

Shinji raised an eyebrow and then said "Really? Ah hope the thing steyps on t'bastard!"

Misato sweat-dropped at this opinion of her leader even if she slightly agreed with him.

As they tore through the city Misato suddenly swerved to dodge a falling piece of building and rolled the car. "Dammit! Shinji help me push the car over." She snarled as they dragged themselves out of the car.

Shinji towered over the woman and made her feel a bit small, he glared for moment then shrugged and said, "Alroight, though I doan' ken why ye're getten soo worked oop over a hoonk ov metal." Shinji walked over toward the car squatted down grabbed the edge and stood up, the car immediately righted up.

Misato stared at the young man in shock, "Strong…." She mumbled. But before they could get back into the car there was another roar and Misato stared in shock. "Oh shit! They're dropping a N2 bomb. Hit the deck!" She tried to knock Shinji to the ground with a flying tackle but was about as successful as a bird hitting a window.

Shinji then grabbed the dazed woman around her waist and carried her under the crook of one arm but backwards which did give him a nice view of her lower half of her hourglass as a certain corner of his mind did note but was quickly shoved aside as he threw her into the car and lunged in after her the explosion rocked the earth itself as if Daghda's club was hammering the earth.

When the explosion stopped, Misato found she was under Shinji in a very compromising position. Shinji grinned a lecherous grin when he realized their situation. "Wiell now, this woz ah little earlier then oye expected, boot hey, Ah'm not coomplainin'!"

Misato snarled and punched him in the short ribs to get him off. He did quickly enough and she then looked the car over to see the damage and started cussing a blue streak about the state of her car. "And I still had 33 payments for that car dammit!"

Shinji scoffed at her antics mumbling, "It was just a hoonk oov metal!" Misato cry of exasperation could be head for miles if anyone was there to listen.

End of ch.1

So what do you think, how will this version of Shinji handle Tokyo-3 and its insanity. I'm thinking that the world will never be able to handle two volcanoes like Asuka or Shinji and the fights will be fun to make. First battle next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Shinji of Gaul**

**Ch. 2**

I OWN NOTHING!

A few hours later found them inside the geofront. As they approached Central Dogma, Shinji took one look at the half fig leaf logo and started laughing his head off.

"What's so damn funny?" Misato snarled, already surly from the car incident and only getting worse with the lug behind her laughing obnoxiously.

"Ahm sorry, It's joost, tha' is th' doombest bannar Ah've ivver seen. Oghma hisself could nae inspire a man wit tha' silly thing." Shinji gasped out between wheezes.

Misato was truly peeved now and was asking herself why the hell she had wanted to feel sorry for this stupid oaf. He had put her in an uncomfortable situation when the N2 mine had been dropped. He had intimidated her with his freakish height when all she had asked for was a bit of help. She had seen pictures of Yui Ikari and worked with Gendo Ikari for some time neither of them were this damn big! He had insulted her car, her driving, Her Car, her boss though she wasn't sure if she should feel mad at that one, HER CAR, the organization she worked for and the only hope for humanity, **HER CAR!!!! **

She was taken out of her mental tirade when Shinji made the remark of "We're loost arrren't we?"

_"Pain! Instant pain for you after this!!"_ She thought to herself.

Finally a door opened before they reached it and standing there in the doorway was a woman around Misato's age but with blonde hair and an open lab coat. She looked at Misato in a pitying way and said, "You never could find your way in this place could Misato?" Misato put her hand behind her head and smiled a very sheepish grin.

Shinji looked at the woman warily, she tampered with her hair that much was obvious, he had grown up with whole towns that used limestone and see all the indicators in a heartbeat. It was a better job he had to admit but it still was fake. The white robes also made him uneasy. The only ones who wore robes like that were the druids and even if he never heard of a female one, he knew that ticking one off back home was a BAD idea. Since he didn't want to risk ticking a potential druid off he decided to be as polite as possible. Thinking back he remembered a play on the magic entertainment box he had seen before that showed how men in Briton greeted women nowadays and he also decided to pour on with the flowery language.

To Ritsuko Akagi's shock, the big young man with the odd clothes and tattoos suddenly went into a Western style and highly gentleman like bow at the waist, his left arm behind his back and his right hand taking her hand and bring it to his lips so he could kiss the knuckles, he then said, "Tis an hona' t' meet an oobvious masterrr ov th learned ways. Though Ah've nae seen one as loovely as ye."

Misato looked like you could have slapped her with a 300 lb tuna and she would never have noticed. What the hell happened to the young oaf she had been dealing with moment ago. The sudden flip in personality shocked and highly irritated her. _"Why couldn't he act like that for me? Not that I care!" _She shook her head clear of that line of thought.

She decided to try and get back at Shinji for the insults earlier. "Hey, Rits-chan, stop drooling at this big oaf, he's not a gentleman in the least. You should have heard the awful things he said to me." She put her best to sound pathetic and failing miserably.

Ritsuko blushed at Misato's accusations then recovered and looked at the young man. "You're Shinji Ikari right?"

"Aye m'lady." Shinji answered.

Ritsuko blushed again then said to the two of them "Well come one we've got a bit of a problem over head."

As they continued through the insane labyrinth that was Central Dogma, they eventually reached a huge vat with a colossal purple robot sitting in it.

Shinji stared in open mouth shock at the huge construct. Misato grinned at Shinji's lost cockiness. Shinji turned to the two women and said in an impressed voice "By Goibenu's scrotum! How did ye knock eh giant oot, drag oonder ground, an' put it in tha' mooch armor witout waking t'brute?"

Both women and the several people who had come in with them immediately face-faulted. Ritsuko recovered first and said, "No, it's our weapon against the Angels, mankind's greatest invention, a humanoid synthetic construct, the Evangelion, Eva 01!" a small glint in her eyes.

Shinji looked at her, then at the Eva, then back her and said, "So…. it's nae a clubbed giant, an' ye built th' thing?" He looked over the huge mecha and said, "Nae th' color Ah would've chosen."

All of Ritsuko's fire was snuffed out by that comment and she was back into the stunned mode.

At that moment there was the sound of several more someones coming down the corridor. Shinji looked to the sound and went from mildly interested to open and flaming rage. There was Gendo Ikari, leader of NERV, and general bastard. "Well Shinji, it's been a while. You've grown quite a bit." Genndo said his voice warm but his face looked like it had been carved from stone.

"Hello _father._" Shinji answered his voice barely under control and his face contorted in rage. "It looks loike ye've been doin' well. Ya fookin bastard!"

Misato started to back away slowly from the irritated young man, she had expected angry but the raw waves of rage she felt coming off the young man were unnerving. The snarl on his face made his teeth almost look like fangs, or was it something else? She looked closer; rage was contorting his face something horrible because it almost looked one eye was almost bugging out of his socket. Then with a suddenly force of will Shinji made himself calm down and his face turned back to normal, Misato blinked and rubbed her eyes trying to decide whether what she had seen was real or not.

Shinji took a deep breath then asked his father "What is it ye want from me?"

Gendo replied, "We need you to pilot the Evangelion."

"No!" Was Shinji's immediate answer. "Ye abandoned me fer 10 years da. Ten fookin years! Now when t'world's aboot t'end ye want me t'get in tha' giant monstrosity an' foight fer ye loike noothin ivver happened wiell ferget it?!!" He spat at Gendo's feet. "An' woiy didye abandon me, when Ah woz little moore then a bairn? Did Ah look too mooch loike ma an' ye couldn't a take th' look oov me coose Ah remoinded ye too mooch oov 'er?" He tore of his tunic and cloak and held his arms out to the side.

Misato, could hear a collection of gasps when she saw the young man's body. He was coated in an amazing vine work of tattoos and a horrifying collection of scars on his young person, some of which looked as if he had only recently healed from them. Shinji them roared, "Wiell then, do Ah look loike 'er noow, wiell, DO AH!!!!!"

Gendo took all of this in stride then said to Dr. Akagi, "Get Ayanami ready for combat. This pilot is useless."

The old man next to Gendo said, "But Rei is still injured she no good to anyone right now!"

Gendo answered, "She's not dead."

Rei was then rolled in to the causeway in a wheelchair, bandaged, and still having an IV unit in her.

Shinji looked at the girl in horror, a small part of his brain recognized her from before at the train station, but was swallowed by the part of his mind that saw the state this girl was in, and his bastard father wanted her to fight? He stepped forward and said, "Ye are a reel bastard ye noow tha'? Foin all pilot that giant hoonk oov metal!" Everybody in the room sighed in relief at the young man's words, unnoticed was the tiny slump of relief the girl in the wheelchair made.

At that moment the Eva moved it right hand straight into the air making a fist. The others stared in shock while Shinji could only grin.

The suit up procedure went fine until the LCL was started filling up the Entry Plug. "AAAGHH! Wha' th' hell is this?!!"

"Shinji calm down, I know it's nasty but you can breathe this stuff!" was the given answer.

Shinji accepted this, after all, only an idiot argues with a druid. It was still nasty.

The next shock came when the Eva came online. Shinji was struck by a huge and massive will from the colossal thing. It wasn't all that smart but it was monstrously driven, and it didn't like Shinji. Shinji was used to strong willed beasts and this thing felt no different. "Shoot Oop ye fookin hoonk oov metal afor Ah make ye inta chariot spokes!!" Shinji mentally bellowed and emphasized this by slamming the side of the Entry Plug. Whatever beast was the heart and soul of this thing shut up and backed off. After a few moments Shinji got the strange feeling that something inside the thing, something female and vaguely familiar, was cursing at the top of her lungs.

"Sync ration has jumped from 20 to 80% and has leveled off!" was heard in the control bridge. Ritsuko and the other stared in utter shock. The Eva when Rei had tried to use her's it had gone apeshit wild. Yet Shinji was able to control the Eva just through sheer force of will.

A few minutes later the Angel was greeted by the sight of the Evangelion rising from the ground.

Inside the Entry Plug Shinji heard the sound of Ritsuko's voice. "Okay Shinji just try to focus on walking."

Shinji grinned in the LCL, "Oh Ah'll do moore then tha'." Grabbing a large piece of rail bride, he charged the giant beast at a blinding speed and swung at it. The pillar shattered when it hit the AT field of the Angel. Shinji looked at the small piece of the pillar still in his hands and said, "Ooh Foo-" He was cut off by the Angel decking him and continuing to pound him.

Shinji screamed "Noow ye made me mad! Doo Ah have anythin' t'break tha' fookin wall?!!"

The prog knife was deployed from the shoulder armor. Shinji took it his right hand and said. "Noot an axe boot it'll doo." He then charged the Angel again, knife in his hands, roaring a battle cry that the Angel imitated from its own mouth.

What came next was too gruesome to watch as it was no fight and was instead a mauling, for the Angel. The fight ended with the skull mask of the Angel tied to the neck of the Eva by a cable that was threaded through the eyes. Its remains spread across the city before they rapidly disintegrated. The core glowed on the ground before the Eva stomped on the core completely destroying the Angel. The Shinji bellowed out over a speaker system. "Hear me Angels. Ye destroyed moi world an' th' people oov moi birrrth. Boot boi th' gods Ah will destroy evarywoone oov ye an' Ah'll have yer skoolls as oornaments." Shinji then howled another war cry, one that sounded like a wolf on the hunt. The Eva also howled its rage, agreeing with its master. Across space, deep underground, and in a small suit in Paris-2 the foes of humanity heard the howl of the Wolf and shuddered involuntarily.


	3. omake 1

Shinji of Gaul

Omake

I OWN NOTHING!

This is my first omake so I hope you enjoy it.

Yui Ikari had a long time ago realized what had the organization SEELE was planning to do using the angels that would be coming to find Adam and Lilith. She knew that the Evangelion was the only thing that could defeat them. She knew that Shinji was the only one who could pilot Unit 01. She also knew that unless she was absorbed by the Eva it would never allow Shinji to pilot it.

For 10 long years her consciousness had been inside Unit 01, wrestling with the will of the Eva, learning its strength and how to control it. She constantly thought about her husband and Shinji who was her entire world and the reason she was willing to go into that monstrosity.

Finally, she could sense the presence of an angel tearing through the city. Her heart soared when she could feel the presence of her son. How much he had grown, Oh she wanted then more than ever to have been able to hug her son, to say she was sorry for doing what she had to. She then felt Gendo come into the room and the rage that came off of Shinji practically choked her if she could be choked anymore.

After a while Shinji was in the Evangelion suiting up to prepare for combat. Yui prepared to do what she had planned for ten years. Immediately the Eva's mind lashed at Shinji too quick for her to stop and she feared for her son. But Shinji didn't even flinch and he bellowed in a brutal voice for the Eva to shut up and he had actually struck the side of the Entry Plug. His own mind was like a boulder and a flame, there was no other way to describe it. The Eva instantly backed down like a scavenger from the kill. Shinji then took complete control.

Yui was at first glad to see that her son was so strong willed on his own. Then it hit her like a ton of bricks, all those years of sitting in this damn thing with nothing but the Eva for company, preparing for this moment and her son didn't even need her help. She had put her son in awful pain and all for nothing. The words that came to mind were words that were illegal in 30 states, not mention physically impossible. She also wondered about why her son was so damn big and the tattoos and scars that were on him.

That tore it, come hell or high water, she was getting out of this damn tin can and finding out just what the hell was going on!!


	4. Chapter 3

Shinji of Gaul

Ch.3

I OWN NOTHING!

Shinji was in open mouth shock. "WHAT!!!!!!" He bellowed at what Misato had just told him.

"Because your still a minor, only 14, and I have been appointed as your guardian, besides I don't think you and your father would get along all that well." was Misato's answer.

Shinji wanted to scream 'Ah'm 16 dammit! Ah've been a man foor a year!' but was smart enough to keep his mouth shut, it had only been 10 years since he left Japan on this side but he had lived with the Arverni for 12. Mentioning that would only make them think he was crazy though he had the feeling they already did though he didn't know why. Shinji openly snorted at her second comment; if that wasn't the understatement of the year then he was a Sodomizing Greek! Which he thought in the corner of his mind his father with his whiskers did strongly resemble. He chuckled darkly in the back of his mind as he thought about earlier that day.

* * *

After the fight with the Angel, Shinji had gone back down under the city to the geofront. He had come out of the Entry plug and was welcomed by the cries of cheering by the whole of the NERV staff or almost. The first thing Shinji had done was find Gendo and say, "Firs bit oov paybach!" Then he decked the smaller man in the face with a terrifying haymaker that sent the man flying 12 feet through the air and slammed hard into a wall behind him.

He turned to the NERV staff in general and asked, "Tha' knife woz noice boot Ah need soomthin' better then tha' iffen Ah'm goin t'keep oon a doin this. An axe iffen ye can." After seeing that monstrous strength Shinji displayed nobody was going to argue with the young juggernaut.

Shinji was later told that he was going to stay with Misato, which brings us back to our current situation. "Ah doan ken whoi ye think Ah'm goin' t'stay? Ah joost came t'knock tha' bastard's teeth oot." While Misato, Ritsuko and the bridge technicians were staring in abject horror, Gendo decided to come back to the group with Fuyutsuki supporting him. His face a mess with two black eyes, a broken nose and what looked like chipped and loose teeth. Shinji noticed his father and the old man from before come in, then smiled a scary snarl. "Acourse Ah could be made t'change mah mind iffen ah c'n be compensated foor mah services."

While those in Central Dogma didn't recognize the grin, any foreign merchant who had met him would have ran for his life and involuntarily check his purse and stock. Gendo didn't have that experience and dumbly, in the before mentioned merchants unasked opinion, asked, "What would you ask for?" Fool! You are a fool! Those merchants would scream.

* * *

"That was incredible! I've never seen anyone fleece Commander Ikari like that!" Misato said as they headed for topside. In the end Shinji had gotten a salary that was six times that of Misato, private hunting grounds outside of the city, with a promise for it to be stocked with a prerequisite list of fallow deer, elk, wild boar and bear, five pairs of horses and two chariots designed according to his specific requirements.

As he grinned at the remembered look on the whole bridge's face when Gendo had agreed to his final offer with the look on his face that he had come out on top of that deal, Misato tapped his shoulder and asked him, "Hey before we go home I wanted to show you something.

Shinji nodded and they jumped back into the car. Misato roared out of the geofront with Shinji shrieking the whole time at one point howling, "Dammit woman! We're nae oonder attack! Whut's with troin t'get oose killed!!!"

* * *

One heart attack ride later brought Shinji and Misato to a hill outside the city and viewing the sunset. "Soo whut is it ye want me t'see?" Shinji asked her as they sat on the hill side.

"Any minute now." She said then at that moment a siren went off and the towers of Tokyo-3 started to rise back out from the ground. Shinji could only stare in open shock at how the city seemed to grow from the ground. Misato grinned at his opened eye shock. "Yep this is Tokyo-3, the fortress city that is the best hope for humanity, this is what we defend."

Shinji looked out at the city watching as the sun continued to set over the hills. Deep in his soul he felt the beauty of the land around Tokyo-3 and turned to Misato and said, "Could ye pardon me foor, a second, Ah need tae get soomthn' oot oov mah pack. He walked over to Misato's car and grabbed the pack. It looked like a simple pack about the size of a school backpack and tied shut with a piece of rope. He undid the rope and reached in. Misato's eyes bugged when out of the pack was pulled a bagpipe, an honest to truth bagpipe!

He set the thing up and started filling the thing with air, a low drone could be heard from it. After a while he stopped then taking a large breath of air he started playing the thing. A high mourning sound was heard from it. Its sound was one of beauty and sorry, one of spirit and hope, the sound of a people who has suffered much but refused to die and fall into the darkness with despair, refused to stop fighting. Though it was not a part of her heritage, she felt something of a connection to the song.

When the sun went behind the hills Shinji stopped playing and put it back into the pack. He turned to Misato and said. "We ready t'goo bach t'yoor hoome?"

She nodded and went back to the car and they went off to the city with Shinji bellowing expletives that would make a trucker blush.

* * *

When they reached her apartment Shinji was once again asking himself why he was willing to deal with this mad woman's driving. At that moment Misato happened to do a few toe touches and stretch her arms behind her back to get a few kinks out and Shinji was instantly reminded.

They reached the apartment and Misato opened the door and Shinji's jaw dropped in horror. There were used eating containers, drinks cans which gave the smell of weak beer were everywhere. He even saw women's undergarments hanging off of places they weren't supposed to be. Misato happened to say, "I'm sorry. It's a little messy."

'Little messy?!!! LITTLE MESSY?!!!' Who could have hidden a whole damn legion camp in the damn thing! From what he knew of Roman war camps, any Centurion worth his crest would have been had a brain aneurism from raised blood-pressure. He looked into one of the cold food containers, more cans of beer! While he could drink anyone and anything under the table, (out drinking a bull. Good Times there man.) the fact that she drank this rat piss was appalling. You drank spirits for more than just getting drunk which was all this shit was good for! The other one, he asked why he had it but her only answer was, "Oh he's just sleeping." Whatever that meant!

She grabbed one out of the fridge and chugged it down at a rapid rate. "Whooee! That hit the spot!" Shinji looked at her chugging ability with a master's disdain for a mildly skilled novice. He grabbed a small pitcher that looked relatively clean from her cabinet, grabbed six of her beers, opened them and poured them into the pitcher. "Hey what are you doi-…?" She shut up and her eyes bugged because Shinji had just opened his mouth, and dumped the whole pitcher down his throat in the same time Misato took to empty her one and never spilled a drop! He didn't even seem to swallow, just let the beer pour down his gullet.

She stared in shock when Shinji shook the empty pitcher upside down to shake out the drops and then snorted, "Hmmph, tha woz' th' nastiest rrrat piss Ah've ivver had t'misfortune t'have slither doone me gullet!" He then tossed the pitcher into the already overloaded sink while Misato could only stare trying to process what she had just seen. Shinji was heading for the bathing room to get the stink of that LCL garbage off of him when he met Penpen. Man and penguin stared at each other then the penguin walked on past him and grabbed a beer from the fridge and jumped into the other. Shinji just stared for a moment then shook his head and walked on into the bathroom.

Shinji came out of the bathroom later on and smelled something ridiculously strong and spicy. He looked in to the kitchen to see abominations on plates along with cans of beer for beverages. Misato waved to Shinji and said, "Come on Shinji. Let's eat."

Shinji ran out of the room screaming five minutes later and Misato found him with his head under a bathtub of cold water. She was a little indignant at his reaction to her cooking and she shrieked "What's the matter with you? I worked hard on that Beef and Curry!"

He pulled his head out of the bath and bellowed, "Dammit! Fergit th' Evas, joost use yer damn cooking an' ye could kill 'em instantly!"

The arguing went on into the night. The own thing agreed upon by the end of the night it was that they were getting a damn cleaning service for the place as Shinji refused to live like this and neither of them were cleaning savvy. He also said he would pay for it if she promised never to cook again. He also said that if he could get some proper meat and a place for an open fire he could cook at least part of the time.

* * *

The next day, "An academy?!!" Shinji shouted at her. "Ah'm a monster killer. Whoi by Teutatus do Ah haf t' goo t' any academy?!!"

"Sorry Shinji, this is Japan, you go to school or work unless you are declared dead." Misato answered.

Later on found the students in a certain junior high classroom staring in shock at the hulk of a man stand in front of the class, dressed in all of his barbarian splendor, (there wasn't a school uniform big enough to fit him) saying, "Mornin' t'ye. Ah'm Shinji Arverni, mah father sent foor me t' 'elp 'im wit his business." Shinji had declared that he would flat out refuse to use his father's name on anything involving him and had demanded that he use this odd name. Most of the NERV staff had looked up Arverni and what they came up with caused more confusion instead of clearing it up. What did a Celtic tribe from over 2000 years ago have to do with anything involving Shinji?

As he took his seat Shinji lounged in the slightly too small chair that he was made to sit in. Around him he heard the buzz of the classroom. "Who is he?" "Is he really 14?" "Did you see the tattoos on him?" "Is he Yakuza?" "Damn he looks strong!" "What's with his name?" "Is he really Japanese with a name like that?" "He sure doesn't look Japanese." "Even with all the tattoos, I think he's pretty cute!" "Wha-?!!" "Hey anybody seen Toji?" "Can't say I have Kensuke."

Shinji just ignored the peanut gallery and made to take a nap during the dull lecture of the instructor, damn this guy could be used for interrogation, two minutes with this old fart's droning and even the most hard-boiled bastard would be singing. When the bell rung Shinji was tapped awake the class rep, whatever the hell that was!

"Hey Arverni! What's with you sleeping in class today?" The freckled girl said giving the tattooed oaf her semi-patented _glare_. Shinji took one look at her then got out of the chair then rose to his full height and gave her a _**GLARE**_ his own. Hikari Horaiki all but wet herself and missed that only barely.

He then let go of the glare, shrugged and said, "Sawry, I joost didnae get mooch sleep lawst noight." He then walked out of the classroom, whistling some strange tune. Hikari was let thinking, 'Who the hell is this guy?!!!'

A/N: Hope you like this chapter sorry if there isn't any good Gallic as kicker but there will be some next chapter. Shinji will also begin corrupting the people around him with his Celticness. Please review as much as you can.


	5. Chapter 4

**Shinji of Gaul**

I OWN NOTHING!

**Ch. 4**

Shinji was crouching low in the forest land nearby Tokyo-3. His breath was low; a large spear was in his hand three others were near him. The massive boar was snuffling along the ground scenting for nuts and berries and for the possibility of meat. The boar slowly came closer and closer, Shinji heart started beating faster; he was waiting, ready for the boar. Then he howled at the top of his lungs, and charged the boar, the spear arched for a throw. The boar grunted and charged the man, its tusks gleaming in the morning light.

Shinji hurled his spear and tore into the boar like a bolt of lightning. The half ton behemoth was actually knocked back for a moment then charged again with a reckless rage its tusks ready to tear the young man apart. Shinji leaned forward and charged the boar himself his hands empty and no other weapon beside his dagger.

Misato was waiting by her car for Shinji to come out of the fenced area. A pair of Section 2 agents was with her. For the last two hours Misato had been sunning herself in a quite revealing one piece while the Section 2 agents were standing guard while obvious even with the shades on ogling the purple haired woman.

About then Misato heard rustling in the bushes and out the forest was tossed a half ton wild boar with its neck twisted 180 degrees. The two agents and Misato stared in shock at the boar's state then out came Shinji little worse for wear. Shinji waved to the dumb struck trio and said " Ow's this catch. Qouit t'beastie 'ear noo. Wiell are ye goin t'elp me clean this brute oor are ye joost goin t' stare loike a boonch oov fish thare."

Misato shook her head while the two agents shrugged their coats and roll up their sleeves both thinking, 'And we're supposed to guard this kid?!!!' They both shuddered when they tried to imagine something that could make this guy nervous.

A week after the first battle with the Angels, Rei had returned to school still bandaged but otherwise okay. Shinji was ecstatic that Rei had come back. He hadn't seen her before he left NERV as he had gone nowhere near the hospital after his fight. He now was determined to get to know this strange toned girl. "Rei! By Daghda! It's wonderfool t'see ye. Ye looked soomthin awfool when ah say ye. How're ye a'fehlin'?!"

Rei could only stare in shock at the raw energy that seemed to exude from this giant of a boy. Having lived separately from human contact for so long she was mentally blasted by this fireball. However she was still the epitome of self control and after a moment of processing what he was saying she replied, "I am feeling better pilot Ikari. My injuries are healing at an acceptable rate."

Shinji's eyes took a horrifying glint and if she could have Rei would have sworn that his hair stood up like an animal and his teeth were becoming pointed. "Please lass, nivver call me bah me foother's name!" Shinji said to her his voice seemed to be barely under control. Rei eyes widened visibly and instantly. This might not seem much to an outsider but to any who knew her it would have been as if she had wet herself and was starting to scream 'don't hurt me'. She nodded and said "Understood, what do you wish me to call you?" Once again this was contrary to her personality.

Shinji grinned and his visage immediately cleared up, "Excellent! Joost call me Shinji lass, poilot's joost too odd soundn'." He clapped her shoulder and said, "Ah'm glahd t'hear ye're recooverin. Twould be ah shame t'lose a lass sooch as ye. Ah wood hate t'haf t'foind ye ahgin in t'next loif."

Rei was internally confused and asked, "I do not understand, Shinji."

Shinji thought for a moment then said, "Wit' moi folk, we believe tha' ahfter deeth, t'soul will coome bach t'th' living worrrld in ah new boody an' live ah new loife. So foor moi folk, thar be nivver fearrr oov deeth, nae wot foolows, foor we ken tha' t'soul will live oon and will foind anoother body t'live in. Ye may nae ken yoor old loife boot it twood loikly be mooch loike t'new one."

Rei was in awe of what Shinji had told her. Her whole life she had been told she was replaceable, that she was one of many and so her own life had no meaning. But she knew that the 'others' had neither soul nor mind, and had to wait until her death. Then it clicked, she never died! She was unique, she wasn't replaceable, and in fact she was so irreplaceable that her next life had to be exactly the same as the old one. She was part of the rest of the world the only difference was that she knew where she was going next and she remembered her old life.

She was overwhelmed at this and unknowingly to her, her eyes watered up immediately and a huge smile spread across her face while tears started to roll down her face. It was a VERY good thing that nobody was nearby while she was doing this or people would be screaming in horror and shrieking about the apocalypse. Barely heard was the words, "Thank-you, Shinji," that escaped her lips. Then when she pictured him in her mind strange warmth spread through her body like strange mixture of fire and electricity. She didn't have a flying clue what the feeling was, only that she enjoyed it and that it was related to Shinji. Across Tokyo-3, all male Ikaris had a horrible shudder go through them, and got the horrible feeling as if the universe and the powers that be were about to fuck them sideways. Shinji made a sign of Cerrenous to ward of dark spirits, while Gendo merely shook it off as superstition. (And who do you think made the smart move there?)

The next day was when Toji Suzuhara came back to school. "Toji! Buddy! How're you doing? Where were you?" Kensuke asked the moment he saw his best and practically only friend enter the classroom door.

"She's been in the hospital ever since that damn giant robot smashed her and nearly killed me!" Toji answered, with venom in his voice. "I swear if I ever find out who that bastard is I'll pulverize him. I don't care if he's six feet tall built like a body-builder, I'll make him pay." (Who has a straw for the poor shmuck? Cause he'll have to eat his words in soup form after meeting Shinji.)

He was interrupted on his avenger streak by the sound of students screaming in horror at what was coming down the hallway. Rei was strutting down the hall way with an air of confidence she had never had before but she also had a huge shit-eating grin on her face that made her whole persona glow. Toji forgot about any sort of revenge that day and could only shudder in horror at the 'thing' that was supposed to Rei. As a result he never even noticed the huge stranger in the room.

A day after that Shinji was busy finding the wonders of the computer when there came a ding from his computer saying he had a message. After finding how to open it, he read the message saying, 'Are you the Giant Robot Pilot?

Y/N?'

Shinji thought about it for a moment then pressed the 'Y'. He had grown up amongst a people where 'do not hide your candle under a basket' was more than a saying it was a whole damn way of life!

"WHAT???!!!!," was the cry that went through the whole classroom as the message was relayed. Shinji was immediately swarmed by the entire class and was pummeled with questions by them.

At that moment, Toji, who had gone to the bathroom, came back in to see that something crazy was going on. When he asked, he was given the answer of, "You know that giant robot a few weeks ago? Well the new guy Shinji Arverni is the pilot of that thing!"

Toji then bellowed out. "Hey Arverni! Come on out, I want to have a few words with you!" Out of the crowd rose man boulder, as there was no other way to describe the hulk that moved through the crowd and loomed over the smaller boy.

"Wiell then, wot d'ye haf t'say t'me?" The hulk grumbled out.

Toji gaped at the huge hulk before recovering and said, "Your fucking piloting got my sister hurt. She's been sick and now she has broken bone on top of that. Someone has to pay for that!"

Shinji looked at the boy then said, "Alroight then. Ah accept yoor challenge." He walked out of the classroom and grabbed the poor sucker by the arm and dragged him outside to the courtyard. Grabbed the satchel and opened it then stuck his arm in as far as the shoulder even though his arm was twice as long as the bag was tall. He turned to Toji and asked, "Spear, axe, oor sword?"

"Huh?" was Toji's answer.

Shinji just shrugged and grabbed something out of the sack. It turned out to be an eight foot long spear. Two feet of the spear being the spearhead that looked almost like a short sword. He spun the thing one handed then tossed the thing to Toji who was knocked over by the weight of the thing. "No shield then." He pulled out a huge oval shaped body-shield that had an intricate vine work on it. He then pulled out a huge battle axe that looked like it weighed 100 pounds easy. He spun the huge battle axe one handed like a baton.

"What the hell man? What's going on?" Toji half squealed.

"Ye said tha' ah needed t'pay foor hurtin yoor sister. This is 'ow mah folk makes restitution." was the answer.

Toji gulped then remembered his sister and charged with the spear point aimed at Shinji's general direction. Shinji side stepped the idiot and slammed the kid with his shield, sending the boy flying. Toji pulled himself up and charged again this time ready to swing the massive thing like a scythe. Shinji slammed the spear down in slow mid swing with the flat of his axe then once again slammed Toji sending him flying again. Toji made to reach for the spear again put was flattened to the ground by Shinji and watched in horror as the axe rose high into the air and come slamming right next to the boy's face.

He was then pulled up by the hulk and clapped on the back. "Ah loike ye lad. Ye've got bigger boolls then ennywhone in this whole city. Ye ken tha' ye were oover ye're 'ead an' ye were still determined t'foight. Ye're a troo Gaul thare lad. Welcoome t'th' clan." Despite having his ass handed to Toji couldn't help but smile and grab the hand of the guy and sake it in the promise of comradeship.

At that moment Rei came walking through the crowd and said to Shinji, "Come Shinji we are needed."

Shinji looked at her then nodded and said, "Alroight then. Toji lad Ah'll see ye later clansman. Let's go lass." He trotted off after grabbing the axe and the shield. He turned to Toji and said, "Keep t'spear. A clansman wit noo weapon is nae a man." He then left.

Rei soon followed and to the horror of many she was seen to sigh as she watched Shinji retreating form and a very slight blush could be seen on her pale cheeks. Toji and Kensuke spent over an hour arguing over what they saw, all the while Toji clutched the spear and the thought was in his mind, 'clansman'.

A/N: Like it? Hate it? PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!


	6. Chapter 5

**Shinji of Gaul**

**Ch. 5**

I OWN NOTHING!

The angel Shamshel came, undulating low to the ground. Some described him like a spear. Others thought the great beast reminded them of an ancient arthropod. However…

"Doos ennywhone notice tha' it looks loike ah big codpiece wit crrochrot feelers a'grooin oon it?" Had the angel heard that, it more likely than not would have been the first angel to face fault. Many in Central Dogma did so. Unfortunately the comparison stuck and none of the crew could really take the beast seriously until it used those feelers to slice into the hills and rip them to pieces.

"EVA launch!" was the cry and soon EVA 01 was flung out topside.

* * *

Down in one of the shelters, Toji and Kensuke were sitting waiting to find out whether or not Armageddon was going to happen. About then Toji was nudged by Kensuke and when he turned to Kensuke, the smaller boy said to him, "Hey Toji, could I talk to you for a moment, in private?"

The larger boy looked around and then said to him, "Okay. But how d'ya plan to get past class rep?"

The smaller boy grinned again and spoke out loud, "Hey Class Rep! Toji and I need to use the bathroom!"

The duel pigtailed girl glanced at the two then said, "Fine, but you really should have gone earlier. Hurry up!" She sighed as she watched the two walk off, Toji still clutching the spear that the scary demo-, err the new student and apparently the robot pilot, Shinji Arverni. She had scolded the living daylight out of Toji for the dumb stunt he had pulled, though on the inside she was pretty worried about the guy, and a little bit proud of his courage. Ever since Shinji had **GLARED** her down that first day, she hadn't had the guts to try and bring him under control.

In the bathroom Toji and Kensuke were zipping their flies when Kensuke asked him, "Hey Toji, you're my best friend right?"

"Yeah. Why do yah ask?" The larger boy asked.

"Well this could be our last day of life so could you…"

"Oh hell no!" Toji half shrieked, suddenly very glad he had taken that spear earlier.

"No! That's not what I meant!" Kensuke shouted at him, shuddering a little himself, "I just want to go up topside. See that battle going on. I just want to see that battle against a monster."

Toji thought for a moment then grinned and said, "You're crazy, you know that?" The two boys chuckled then trotted to the top side, never suspecting what would happen to them, or the repercussions of their actions.

* * *

Shinji flew out of the launch chute and leaped into the sky, howling a wolf-like war cry, which the EVA copied many octaves lower, and MANY decibels louder. He charged the otherworldly beast barely hearing what the druid women was saying. "Shinji, make sure you expand your AT field before you engage!"

Shinji thought about what she said and made an attempt to do so. The beast slung it feelers out and sliced right through the EVA's AT field. Shinji barely ducked in time before it decapitated him. "Daghda's scrotum! Tha' oover groon codpiece kan cut throoo mah shield."

"There's a gun in that tower. Use it!" Misato shouted over the com. link.

Shinji didn't have a clue what a 'gun' was but went on his way toward the marker on the map and took out the EVA sized pistol. Shinji stared at the strange angled device the shrugged and slung it at Shamshel body like a boomerang. It bounced off the monster's shovel head and actually made a noticeable lump it, which seemed to only infuriate the angel.

"Wiell tha' was useless!" Shinji shrieked as he ducked the whips again.

Misato could only stare in dumb shock at Shinji's actions. She reacted quickly enough and screamed, "What the hell Shinji, why did you do that?!!"

"Wha' else is tha' thin' good foor? It didnae even haf a blade t'it" Shinji howled back at Misato.

The entire bridge was stunned at his words, 'What the Hell! Has he been living under a rock?!!!' Was the thought on every single one of their minds.

Shinji realized he was getting nowhere with this fight. With just a knife he couldn't touch the giant codpiece. Thinking quickly he slung a boulder at the creature which promptly sliced the rock but bought Shinji time to bolt for it and head for the city. Looking in some of the rubble from the last fight, he found what he was looking for and pulled out a huge steel column. He found some thick steel cable and then taking out the prog knife; he tied the knife to the column with the cable and made an impromptu spear. He spun it around a few times then ran out back into the fray howling like a banshee as he came, the spear arched for the throw.

* * *

"Hey Toji, we made it, we're topside." Kensuke said as they opened the last door to the shelter. They blinked for few moments then felt a huge rumble and turned to see the source of it.

The massive EVA was charging the Angel, a makeshift spear in its right hand, raised over its head as if it was going to throw it. Then a horrifying shriek came out of the robot's mouth as it let loose the spear. It hurtled like a lightning bolt and struck the beast right below the core, a miss. But Shinji was ready to kill and he continued his charge and grabbed the end of the spear and slammed the massive angel after an arching lift over his head. All who saw that were in awe of the raw strength of the EVA and its pilot.

But the Angel wasn't down and out, not by a long shot. It shot out an AT whip and sliced into the EVA shoulder causing pain for both Shinji and the EVA. Another whip cleanly sliced the power plug of the EVA. Shinji was knocked back and slammed into the hillside incidentally right next to Toji and Kensuke, barely missing squashing them.

Misato noticed them and made an immediate decision. "Shinji there are two of your classmates right next to your hand, open the plug and let them in. Then head back to the launch pad and back under the geofront."

Shinji nodded, was his only answer as he tried to ignore the phantom pain of his shoulder.

Toji and Kensuke could only stare as a pod opened in the back of the EVA and in it was Shini hacking red colored gook. Over the speakers came the voice of Misato screaming for them to get in. They quickly replied and then almost as quickly started to panic at the LCL. But when Shinji calmly took a breath of the gook and seemed fine, they also calmed down and imitated the big youth.

Misato then said, "Alright, now head for the geofront."

Shinji ignored her and roared a wordless battle cry and charged the Angel.

* * *

"Sync ratio skyrocketing! Reaching 99%, 110%, 150%, corruption likely!"

"Shit! Shinji!" Misato cried worried for the life of the young man who was a hurricane of change and color in her life.

EVAs are incredible pieces of technology; they allow human beings to partial synchronize with the most powerful war machines imaginable. However because of the nature of the situation, over synchronization can cause influences on usually the pilot, however the EVA becoming corrupted is not impossible, just an ice cube's chance in hell of it because of the nature of the EVA. In this case however…

"What the..? Shinj's showing no sign of corruption; it's almost… the EVA's being corrupted _by him_?!!! But that's impossible!!!!" Ritsuko gasped.

Then they all shut up as they saw what happed to the EVA. From the mouth grew a full set of fangs. The helmet was blown off as what looked like a mane of spikes appeared from the head. One of the EVA's eye bugged till it seemed to become almost twice its original size. The knee armor was shattered when the knee joints switched direction. Then the most horrible part, a jet of EVA blood shot from the head that went straight up almost a mile. This new horror charged the Angel and ripped the spear from it, then proceeded to slash and pummel the beast to a bloody pulp.

As the bridge watched in horror they failed to notice that the screen, which had shut off when the EVA, or possibly Shinji, had gone wild, flicker back on for an instant showing Shinji as a dead ringer for the EVA's changes. Both Toji and Kensuke seemed different from before they had entered the EVA. All three had faces that seemed to be contorted in an ungodly rage.

* * *

The Angel quickly fell apart from the mindless mauling that the transformed EVA gave it. Them its core was rip from it body and held in the left palm of the EVA then quickly crushed it, flashes of light and fire streaming between the fingers of its closed fist. At that moment the EVA ran out of power and collapsed, the bizarre changes wrought on it receded.

Inside the EVA Shinji shook himself awake and looked around in the entry plug. Inside were Kensuke and Toji both out cold. He grinned as he saw that Toji had the spear he had given him in a death grip. He looked at himself, he'd done and gone crazy, again. Daghda! He hoped he didn't kill anyone he shouldn't have. He smiled a wolf-life smile, "Two doone, moor t'goo!"

* * *

Misato was killing time watching Ritsuko having a nervous breakdown over what the hell just happened with the EVA. She examined the data from the battle compared them to tests from earlier. She stayed at this for several hours, Misato could have sworn she never blinked. Then out of nowhere, "Raaagh!!!!!! I GIVE UP, THE ONLY WAY TO EXPLAIN HOW THE HELL HE DID THAT WAS BY GODDAMNED MAGIC!!!!!" She then took an inhale of a cigarette that ate half of it then stormed out of the bridge toward the sick by where Shinji was being examined.

The medical doctor, had just walked out from Shinji's room when Ritsuko came thundering down the hallway. She GLARED at the man and said, "WELL???!!!!"

The doctor gulped, "Well we examined him for any possible taint from the Angel like you asked but there is nothing even remotely Angel like in his system. We don't know how the hell he did that."

Ritsuko stared at the woman then shrieked in rage again and burst into Shinji room. She stromed over to the man laying down and said, "Okay Shinji, how and what the hell did you do to the EVA?!!"

Shinji looked up at here from a football game he was watching in the room and said, "Loost mah temper, bahd thin's 'appen when Oye loose mah temper." He then turned back to the T.V. and started cheering for one of the teams. "Oh boi th'way. Could ye make soome javelins t'foight at a distance. Tha' weird cloob wos useless." Ritsuko ground her teeth and stormed out of the medical ward, completely ignoring that the doctor was telling her that something odd was going weird with the other two boys that had been with him in the EVA. The boys were released and sent home where they had an incredible story to tell.

* * *

The next day Toji was staring in wonder at the spear that lay at the foot of his bed. He had gone to pick it up and was shocked when he picked the thing up with one arm easily, when the day before he was having a hard time carrying with one. He looked at his arm, though it was very faint, it did almost look like his arm was slightly more muscular. The rest of his body did so as well. That wasn't all; the pajamas he was wearing had fit perfectly before, now they seemed a fraction too small. Once again barely noticeable, but it was still there.

He shrugged and changed his clothes, once again noting they were a fraction too small. Little did he know was that Kensuke was having the same experience.

In another realm a group of powerful beings were laughing their heads off at this unexpected but not unwanted side effect. Once again, this time in an overseas restaurant, Gendo felt a shiver and the ominous feeling that the universe and the powers that be were about to fuck him over sideways returned. Once again he ignored it and once again was an idiot for it.

A/N: Well how's the new chapter? In case you were wondering, that was a description for the change that the ancient hero Cuchulainn of Ulster was supposed to go through. Incase you were wondering, yes Toji and Kensuke were infected by a case of the Shinji cooties and yes they will be almost completely infected by his Gallishness. Hope you liked the fight scenes, compared to the thunder god that is Shinji and Warhammer 40k; I who and but a lame and distasteful admirer of that genius, hope you like my own. (I really don't have low self esteem. ;)


	7. omake 2

**Shinji of Gaul**

**Omake 2**

I OWN NOTHING!

Shinji Arverni was not a happy man. He had recently defeated his second angel and now he wanted to celebrate. He tried to get into a bar and get a beer from the bartender he was told he was too young to buy anything. The bar was ripped to shreds and there were around thirty cases of broken bones and dislocated limbs after that little disagreement.

He was currently stomping back towards Misato's home and shuddering at the weak rat piss he had to look forward to. Then it struck him like a thunder bolt. "Ah'll joost brew me own!" He thundered off thinking about what he needed.

Misato, when she stepped out of her car, was struck by a god-awful stink and was also strangely lightheaded as if she had been hitting the hard stuff. She tore up the stare case when she saw a collection of barrels and tanks were being boiled on top of the apartment building and fumes were visibly rising from them. Her jaw dropped when a bird flew through the fumes and actually fell like a rock in an instant.

She burst onto the roof and was blasted back by the smell of fermentation. She looked through tearing eyes to see Shinji stoking fires and stirring mixtures in barrels and cauldrons. He looked up and smiled as if nothing was wrong and said, "Afternoon, Misato, loovely day t'be a brooin?"

"Good God Shinji what is that stink?!!!" Misato shouted with her nose and mouth covered.

"Joost mah beer a'brooin. Last batch's aboot done." He said, then walked over to a barrel and with a large ladle he scooped up some of the amber liquid and said, "Troi some."

She took single mouthful; she was awed at the heavenly taste of it. Damn Shinji could be a brew master of unrivaled caliber with this stuff. Then she swallowed it.

She woke up with the worst headache of her life. Everything ached even her hair seemed to throb. She'd had bad hangovers before but this was like comparing a lizard to a T-rex and saying that they were similar. Soon the pain was too much and she blacked out again.

She woke up to the sound of laughing and this time she felt only in pain instead of being in the deepest circle of hell. She blearily opened on eye and saw Shinji chuckling and swigging a large mug of something. He turned to the woman and said, "Ah, th' sleepin' beauty awakes. Ye've been oot foor a week oor so." She groaned in misery never wanted to leave her bed, one because of the pain and two because she never wanted to say how she ended up there. Her headache only worsened when she heard him mumble. "Tha' batch woos aboot alf' as stroong as Ah wanted it. Boot the taste was nae tha' bad. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" He then was laughing about something on the T.V. while Misato just wanted to cry from the pain, the humiliation and the insanity of the situation. Her status as the greatest drinker in Tokyo-3 was over and done with.

The Lady of Booze was dethroned and the new Lord of Booze had arisen mightier than any before him. Not bad for being only sixteen years old.


	8. Chapter 6

**Shinji of Gaul**

**Ch. 6**

**I OWN NOTHING!**

Shinji was walking towards the school, grinning from the slight buzz his homemade beer had given him and that still flattened Misato if she did anymore then breathe in the fumes. As he walked through the gate he noticed a crowd around two someones. He walked through the crowd, they parting in front of him like water around a rock. When he made through the crowd he was surprised at what he saw.

It was the two he had with him in the EVA a few days ago, Kensuke and Toji, but they had changed from what he had remembered. Kensuke had grown a good two inches, three for Toji. Both had also seemed to bulk up as if they had been through his uncle Acco's man-up training the old warrior had made for sons of druids who didn't have the temperament or ability to become druids themselves. The odd thing was that they looked as if they had been doing it for a few weeks. Once again Toji seemed to have gained a little more on that. Kensuke however seemed to have something a little off with him, that same odd feeling that he had felt before around a druid that was in the middle of a ceremony or chanting a spell. He didn't have any time to dwell on this however as Toji had noticed him and had trampled over to him; the spear that he had been given seemed to be easily held in one hand instead of having to be lugged with two.

"Shinji glad to see ya. Ya doin' fairly?" Toji half shouted, clapping his shoulder on Shinji's back, already the kid could hit a hell of a lot harder than before.

Shinji grinned and clapped the other youth on the back, failing to notice that he still knocked the guy flat on his face, "Twould be doin' ahlroit, boot what bye Daghda happened t'ye?"

Toji picked himself up quicker than many grown men in Section-2 would have, simply brushed himself off saying, "I don't really know, but whatever happened it happened after me and Kensuke got out of that mecha you had. Kensuke's changed to."

Shinji looked up to see Kensuke in clothing a bit too small for him posing like a body builder or an idiot. While he didn't look quite as bulked as Toji and nowhere near as big as Shinji, he still was hell of a lot more physically imposing and a few of the fairer sex seemed to notice that.

He was about to talk to the other boy when he heard someone's voice call out. "Shinji! Shinji!" He automatically guessed who it was when he saw the looks of horror that was see on the other students' faces. He turned to see the semi-albino walk up to him with a small smile on her face and a mild glint in her eyes that if any other guy had seen they would have been running for the hills screaming about the apocalypse. "Ah mornin' lass, tis wonderful t'see ye after th' last foight." The mild blush, which, compounded by the paleness of her skin and the novelty of it, prompted many students and not a few teachers to remember to visit a temple, mosque or church on the way home. (several decided on visiting one of every denomination they could find)

"Shinji, may I ask if you could instruct me more on your peoples' faith? The little you have told me has opened my eyes to the world and I would like to know more." (the students who heard him were torn whether to inquire more about this religion that could bring such a change on the girl or to damn him and make a mob to punish the bastard who brought about Armageddon. They decided against it as they knew that Shinji could probably rip their spines out and club them to death with them.)

Class went about as normally as usually with the teacher droning, the students mildly moaning, and Rei was sitting as close to Shinji as she could with a book called, "All You Ever Wanted to Know about Druids and Celts but Were Too Afraid to Ask." (A/N: not a real book to the best of my knowledge) sitting on her desk. Which kinda killed the droning and moaning as the students started pulling out rosary beads and crosses from places even the author doesn't know about. "Firs' oof thar be t'gods an' goddesses ye need t'ken…" He went on to talk about Daghda the great father-god of the Celtic people. He also talked about Esus the trickster woodsman of Fire and Teutatus the Thunder-god of War. He told her about the great mother goddess Danu and the other goddesses Brigedh the gentle healer, Epona the goddesses of horses and her two sons the rider brothers and war avatars. The other students were soon enthralled at the fire and the sheer conviction that Shinji had when he told his faith.

The students and in fact, the whole of Tokyo-3 had grown up or lived in the horrors and pain of post-Impact Earth and as such had little faith left in them. Oh there was the nominal Shinto faith of their ancestors and the teaching of Buddha along with a tiny smattering of Christianity in the mixture. Though they still nominally believed and a few practiced, the spark was weak and the ashes cold. But the sheer enthusiasm that Shinji had was causing a strange change in their souls and a small fire was starting to build as they heard the whirling fiery tales of incredible heroism and sometimes sheer cockiness that had so vanished from the world long before the start of second impact.

As his story telling continued it was only interrupted by the ringing of the bell that signaled for lunch. The students reluctantly went outside to eat as was the custom at the school. They went out and Shinji sat under a tree, his story telling continuing. "Then thare's t' Warchief Brennus, he was t' nephew of th' King who marched South to th' land oov t' Etruscans who lived north oov Rome an' her wee alliance oov cities. When the Etruscans wen' belly oop an' cried fer peace, the Romans sent ah trio oov ah certain family oov Rome called t' Fabii." He mentioned this name with unalloyed disgust, "They were ta be ah third party tha' woos uninvolved wit' t' fight and soo could barter a fair treaty. One wee bastard oov tha' family loost his tempar and slew the King at th' treaty table." There were a few gasps from the girls and Toji and Kensuke felt an unexplainable rage at this.

"T' Fabii ran bach t' Roome and Brennus gathered t' many clans of the Isubres, Boii, Lingones, Senones and the other tribes that had gone south with the nephew of the great king of the Biturges, he claimed High Kingship an' then according to t' laws of our people and th' laws oov Rome demanded th' Fabii t' be handed t' them. 'Owever t' bastards instead gave them t' honor oov leading their armies foor t' year." Grunts of disgust filled the air as he continued his story.

He told how that the Gauls had thundered down the Italian peninsula yet never touching any city, crying out that their only interest was in Rome and only Rome. The Roman had sent out an army to fight them, but when they saw the Gauls in their odd clothes, huge size and savage demeanor they ran for their lives, many drowning in a river to get away from them while the Gauls could only stare in shock. Shinji then told how most of the city had been abandoned and only the centre of it was defended. The others started to laugh at the story of how Brennus demanded a half ton of gold and when the Romans whined about cheating scales Brennus had laughed and threw his sword on the scales crying 'Woe to the conquered!'

"Th' Romans swore vengeance foor awl toime… they fulfilled their oath." Shinji eyes seemed to glaze over as if remembering something that was unpleasant, most of the kids in his class had seen that face on their parents as well as their older siblings, why Shinji had that face, they didn't know.

Time passed and soon Tokyo-3 was under attack yet again.

Ramial, the third child of the wandering space titan Adam, was shaped like a blue uncut diamond. Shinji was quickly dressed and he leaped into the EVA, when he activated it, he roared his challenge to the oversized gem, brandishing the recently constructed prog-axe with a prog-spear strapped across his back.

"EVA launch!" Shinji was shot to the surface of the city, rising bullet-fast on the mag-lift his knees bent to go into a flying leap and attack. When unpleasant readings began to blink on the bridge Misato tried to warn Shinji of the risk but his blood was and he was ready to fight.

"Morrigan!! He howled as the mag-stopped and he leaped to attack. Ramial fired his cannon, white-fire of unbelievable heat for a direct hit on Shinji. Shinji had a few moments before the shot struck home. '_Oh Daghda's balls-' _was his only thought before his world was consumed by fire and pain.

The smell of smoke was high and strong; Shinji of the Arvernii tribe, a sworn bodyguard and companion of High King Vercingetorix looked out at the huge double line of Roman fortifications. While most of the relief army had fled, utterly hammered by the last three attempts to break into Alesia and free their king, he had stayed to see if there was some way he could help his King and companion, the man he had sworn an oath before the gods to aid in war and to accompany him in all his endeavors until his death or until Vercingetorix released him. He watched at the gates to Alesia opened again and he watched with shock and growing horror as Vercingetorix approached Caesar alone then removed his sword and the crown of the High King that Cathbad the high druid had given him scarcely several months before.

Then to his rage he watched Roman troopers tear the remaining clothing off of him and leave him stark naked. Then they presented a golden Legion Eagle to his face. Shinji realized what was happening.

"NOOOOO!" He howled and charged for the wall running as quickly as he could to stop _that_ from happening. Suddenly he was consumed by blackness, yet the last thing he saw was Vercingetorix the First and now Last High King of the Gauls, stripped naked, forced on his knees, his head bowed, touching his lips to the Golden Eagle with Caesar the unholy killer of the South looked on with utterly cool and uncaring eyes. Before he was swallowed by oblivion he knew one thing and one thing only. He had failed his king and brothers in battle and blood, he had broken his vow.

**A/N: Hi everybody! I'm glad to be back! Tell what you think.**


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